Changes and challenges: 2010

This year has been one of growth and insanity for my family. From a seizure in January, to the loss of my husband's father in May, to the gift of our second child's birth in July, we have been through so much this year.
Bumblebee has a sister now. She is as mild as Bee is wild. We call her LaLa around the house because she seems content to view the world as entertaining and enjoyable. She "lalas" through her days. I think we would have had a second child much sooner if Bee had been this mellow.
LaLa is five months old now and we are still learning to be a family of four. It has meant significant changes as a couple for my husband and me. We don't have ANY time for one another any more. I am home with the girls because my teacher's salary doesn't significantly offset the costs of daycare fiscally...and the time away from them can never be replaced. I think all moms should be respected and supported: those who wish to return to work, and those who do not. I returned to work after spending Bee's first year with her. I loved the classroom I was in, but I was only getting ten awake hours a week with Bee from M-F...and that wasn't enough for me.
Women should never have to defend their choices about these very personal things. Bee goes to preschool two days a week, she has friends and a life outside the home-two things I find very important-but she's with me the rest of the time. Am I exhausted? Hell, yeah. Do I get frustrated with her...and then with myself for getting frustrated with her? Everyday. Would I change it and go back to seeing her only 10 hours a week? No. Do I miss the adult contact and conversation? Yup, sure do.
Every parenting decision we make--whether to feed them yogurt or Cocoa Krispies for breakfast, whether to go to them when they cry at night, whether to cloth or disposable diaper them--is personal. While I say we shouldn't have to specifically defend the decisions, I do believe WE should KNOW why we are doing it.
We will see where this next year with two will lead. Bee is learning to read, LaLa is learning to crawl, I am learning to breathe. I'll keep you posted.