So, I am all for listening to advice about raising my child. Tell me about how I can help her learn to use the potty or maybe how to encourage her to eat a variety of foods. Give me suggestions about teaching her to stay at my side in the parking lot; I'm listening. However, there is one place where I draw the line: do not criticize me for doing everything in my power to stick to her sleep/wake schedule. Especially when the outcome of my leaving doesn't change your evening.
Grrr...
Last night Bumblebee and I attended a party. It was billed as a birthday party for one of my old friends. My husband was out of town, so I was open to events that would provide us both with socialization. The friend throwing the party has three kiddos, so I thought Bee would get some time with them while I had a beer and grown-up conversation. Win/win, right?
Oh, so wrong.
Instead, we arrived to an empty house. We lounged in the sun, trading sunglasses and singing songs. This was probably the highlight of our weekend, or mine at least. Shortly, our hostess arrived sans children. They were invited to a friend's for the afternoon and would return at the start of the party...which was apparently 2 hours later than it had been advertised to me as being. I smiled it off and decided that perhaps we'd scoot out before they arrived, to avoid the sadness that can accompany seeing one's friends for just a minute or two.
After about an hour, the birthday girl showed up. I gave her our modest, and seasonal, gift of local cheese and peaches. We chatted for a few minutes. I asked who else that we knew would be attending. Our hostess handed me a list and a FLYER for the party. Apparently, the entire community had been invited...oh, and it wasn't actually G's b-day party, more of an end of summer bash. Um, had I known that...we might have bowed out gracefully.
So, with the preponderance of new information, I decided that perhaps the Bee and I should sneak out gently. We were berated by the hostess's husband, who feels it his place to break anyone down at any chance. I should have steeled my resolve and left, but I was feeling conflicted, so I caved.
Basically, I spent the next hour and a half playing alone with Bee and other people's toys. I didn't get adult conversation and dinner consisted of a cruddy burger from a multi-pack (no veggies or condiments to be seen) and a nitrate-sugar filled hotdog for Bee (condiment free again). It sucked. All around.
Finally, at Bee's normal bedtime, I realized that I was letting myself be bullied into staying and that EVERYONE would be more happy with me gone (even if they didn't realize it). I didn't make it out without several people feeling they had to comment about how it was such a shame I was leaving early as so many other little kids had begun arriving. It was true, there was a growing pack of kids...and Bee may have liked to join them, but it was late enough that I know what the long term effect would have been. So we came home.
I want my child to play with other kids; I want her to have fun. I just realize that if I sacrifice what works for us just because it doesn't work for other people, the next day is hell for all involved. My sweetie has been gone since Friday...we need another 24 hours of patience and I can't manage it if we don't sleep well.
It comes down to this...I didn't feel the need to lecture the parents arriving with other 2-year-olds about the sleep needs of small children and how important it is for parents of high intensity kids (read: Bumblebee) to maintain structure...SO what gives them the right to criticize me.
My gal is tired and a little grumbly this morning, but she'll be fine after nap today. When their sugared out kids are little TV zombies for 48 hours, I guess they will chalk it up to normal childhood experiences. Oh, I'm sorry, was that too critical?
